


from despair, to hope, until death

by strawbunnyshortcake



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi-centric, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), also saihara ISN'T a/usive to ouma, am i doing tags right??? plz help????, god help me for i am staying up late to write chapter 1 of this goddamn fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27132526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbunnyshortcake/pseuds/strawbunnyshortcake
Summary: the boy had no name - real family - nor did he have hope. hope was what he was searching for through the seams of despair.until a hand pulled him out of despair, into a light.(ouma (no-name) and his best friend, saihara, stay hidden away from the world to find their own hope)
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede & Shirogane Tsumugi, Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Momota Kaito & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Kudos: 15





	from despair, to hope, until death

**Author's Note:**

> hello! welcome to my first pregame fic! this is actually the first time i'm ever starting out such a story with multiple chapters.
> 
> i've actually been pretty anxious on posting this - especially since i've been planning to write a pregame fanfic for a while now but i hadn't really thought of anything to write. but i've been doing my best to get inspired by a few things - mostly shows and manga, and with the ideas i have in mind - i hope this fanfic will be good for the future!
> 
> i will warn that this fic is not exactly for the faint of heart - as in the tags - this will show themes of child a/use, violence, and implied self-in/liction.
> 
> this fanfic will be about ouma and saihara, mentally helping each-other as they were best friends - but their relationship starts to grow a lot more than before. though trouble does get in their way - as they try to fight through each barrier they come across - barriers of despair.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!!

what is he getting himself into? _what is he getting himself into?_

saihara had thoughts flowing through his brain, it felt like a ticking time-bomb ready to go off at any second with his head pounding against the skull - a shell that held his thoughts all in a pile. he was quiet, feeling the words that he wanted to say drain down his throat when the pounding got worse. it really felt like the hooves of a horse were **really** kicking into his head now...that'd cause a bruise if that ever happened to him. even if he thought he deserved it for being such a fuck-up.

the sounds of the world were all buried. as if he was underwater. he couldn't hear anything - it was all muffled - feeling like his ears were filled up with just water. it was uncomfortable for him. and yet, he-

" _hey, saihara~chan._ "

fingers snapped in between saihara's eyes, and he blinked back into reality. the sounds were clear to him when the tv blared out the voice of a woman.

_" the high-school student has been missing for 74 hours as of late. it has been reported that he was missing since yesterday overnight. there was no evidence of a break-in, but many of his belongings, such as clothes, bags, ecsetra have been missing. police are now assuming that the student may've ran away from home, while the reasons of this may be unknown. he is noted to be 17 years old - his appearance having straight black hair - blue and yellow heterochromia - and he always wore a uniform. we are asking for the public's cooperation to help find the student-_ _"_

ah...right, that happened. that case was still going on, was it? he knew people never cared about victims. they turn their heads away from the pain they have, scarred all over them - even with just a bruise, they'd pretend they didn't see anything.

saihara's eyes darted to the boy beside him - _black-straight hair reaching collar-bone, and one blue eye, with the other being gold_.

" you've been spacing out again, " the boy said, pulling his knees up to his chest as he wrapped bandaged arms around them, keeping them close. he looked pretty calm - despite the situation they were both in right now.

he...really forgot about that, did he?

" right...s-sorry, i've been thinking more about what happened, " saihara turned his head away from the boy, " it's...still kinda, y'know, "

" eh...i don't blame you. " the boy sighed, flopping onto his side of the bed they both sat on. it's sheet was consisted of black-and-white, even it's pillow-case. the whole room was covered in merchandice - of purples, blacks, whites, the boy would get the hint. saihara was a big fan of this stuff.

" hey, saihara~chan? "

with saihara's name being called by the other, he turned his head back to him, curiosity now beginning to glint in his eyes.

" what is it? "

" i'm...glad you helped me, with running away. "

it was a sudden way to even say that out loud - saihara could've thought this was a sceneario in a movie, but this was in-fact reality. he would know that very well when his eyes locked onto the boy's. he looked...happy when he said that. it wouldn't be a normal thing to say, at-least to some people, they wouldn't think it was a normal thing to say such a thing at all. but there was a reason for that when his eyes then glanced to the bandages. fresh, white and clean bandages that covered up the scars of what would be in the past - scars, bruises, pain.

maybe saying such a thing would be considered normal to the both of them. the world hated their guts anyway - everyone in the world wanted to watch them rot away - that's how the two always thought their lives were. the world was against them - and their hope.

_i'll make sure i'll keep this hope, for our sake. for his sake too. i won't let anyone else take this hope away from us._

" ...you're welcome, " saihara said, proudly, letting a tiny smile cross his face when the boy's eyes sparkled - and the boy's own smile formed widely across his lips.

" hey-hey, saihara~chan, " the boy sat up with glee, knees pressing against the bed when his arms moved to take saihara's hands into his own palms.

" do you think this life will last forever? i mean, this is great! i don't get to live with those bucket-heads anymore! and-and, i can actually be normal! "

the boy was practically bouncing at this rate with his knees, the mattress puffed up when he moved and saihara tried to stay steady on his own sitting.

" ye--yes, yes, i'm sure it will! but, " saihara quickly raised his arms to hold the boy's shoulders, keeping him still - even though the blunette swore he felt the other still vibrating even within his touch. the boy's eyes would be a galaxy by how they were sparkling right now - and saihara really tried to keep composure by the sudden joy the other was expressing right now.

" we _need_ to make sure no-one will be able to find you and take you back there. this is a serious issue, and we need to figure it out together, right? "

" right, right! "

the boy was still expressing so much happiness from this sort of issue...how can he be so happy right now? but then again, the bluenette couldn't say anything against that - they both agreed to this after all.

saihara's eyes darted across the room, to have them meet the hands of a clock inside the room. the ticking was annoying at that point, it was deafening to him. but when he noticed the time...

" ah--s-shit-- " he sighed, with the boy now looking concerned. the boy tilted his head to the side, trying to look at the blunette's eyes with his own.

" saihara~chan? " he said, making saihara look back up at him with a more nervous smile.

" i-i have to go to school, sorry, " the blunette felt so guilty saying that...it made the boy pout, crossing his arms in-front of his chest in a pretty upset way.

" that's no fair! we need to figure things out first! i at-least need a name now, don't i? " he looked so pouty...

but the question caught saihara off guard for a moment, blinking a few times before speaking.

" a-a name? " he was embarrassed that he got another stutter out there, with a shade of pink coming across his features - but it made the other giggle at the sight. he at-least wasn't as pouty anymore...it was a nice sight.

" saihara~chan, i want you to give me a name! those people never really gave me a name, so i'm letting you give me a name instead! i want it to be special! "

the propose...really shocked saihara at that point. at first, he thought the boy never liked giving out his name for personal reasons, or if he felt uncomfortable with it. but never having a name in the first place...?

it gave him a sick feeling in his stomach to even think such a thing as people would call theirselves _parents_ would never give their own child a name. they never really gave a damn about him, did they? with the stories he heard from the other, this one took the cake for him.

saihara wasn't good at naming things. hell, he gave his own oc his actual name - he just...wasn't that good at all with such a thing. he wasn't good at thinking, at-least from what people told him...  
he just needed to think...think of what could help give him a name...

...ah.

" how about...ouma? "

" ...eh? " the boy blinked in confusion, taking that in for a moment when his arms nearly dropped, fingers nearly glazing off of his sleeves. and that made saihara a bit more nervous than before. but he continued.

" remember when you showed me your character? for the new danganronpa show? why not... _ouma kokichi?_ "

the boy...had to take that in for a moment with the name given to him. he was quiet, arms dropping to his sides in a limp state, eyes locking below him in such a sad look...he almost looked melancholic in a way, as if memories flashed back right into his brain like a camera flashing image, after image, after image. his lip was quivering, like the cold air brushed against his skin. but he wore all black, he still wore the same uniform he usually wore to school. he wasn't cold.

saihara's expression shifted into worry when seeing the other in a such a state.  
 ~~ _i shouldn't have said anything_~~

" i--i'm sorry, i didn't mean to--- " saihara could've swore he was feeling his hands shaking, quickly letting them dig their nails in the sheet below the two of them. he tried not to show how...terrified he was, how worried he was. he could feel himself being pulled out of reality again, into darkness. into fear. he didn't like it when he was scared. he hated being scared.

 ~~i should've kept my mouth shut. i should've~~ \---

...all of the thoughts were pushed out of his mind when a pair of arms wrapped around the blunette, bringing him back to reality when his back hit against the headboard of his own bed. the other's laughter echoed across his ears, and that was enough to know his answer. the boy had the happiest smile across his face, he was kicking his legs against the mattress and he was clearly shaking against him. saihara gave himself a moment before wrapping his own arms around him.

" i love it! it's a wonderful name, saihara~chan! you're so smart! " he beamed with joy again, pulling away from the hug when he said that. it made the other's features glow pink from the compliment, and he muttered a small 'thank you' underneath his breath. it made the boy - once again - giggle and he clapped his hands.

" my name from now on will be ouma kokichi then! " ouma exclaimed, with the biggest grin in his expression.

saihara really is questioning how he met this boy again...

" well then...ouma-ku- "

" that's me! ouma~kun! " ouma cut off saihara's sentence, raising both of his hands to interlock their fingers together behind his head.

" r-right...ouma~kun, i'm heading off to school now. think you can stay here? " saihara asked when he got off the bed, walking over to some coat-hanger beside the door of his bedroom. it had a black backpack hanging onto one of it's arms, having a lot of pins and keychains on it...most of the pins consisted of a lavender-haired girl, and most of the keychains had a different girl - with strawberry-blonde hair and a monochrome bear, both of them having toothy-grins. he pulled the bag off of the arm of the coat-hanger, slipping his arms through the straps so it bag itself would rest against his back.

" yeah, yeah! " ouma nodded multiple times, it was clear how hyper he was right now. it almost made saihara chuckle at that.

" but, i am going to the store to at-least get a few things for dinner. is there anything you want? " saihara asked again - and ouma immediately sprung off the bed.

" is---is there panta there? can you get me panta?! i need it so badly right now! a-and maybe you can make curry too? i've never had curry before! oh---and-and maybe purple hair-dye? you know how much i've wanted to get my hair dyed, it's literally been a dream of mine to get it dyed--- "

ouma was beginning to ramble again, saihara could barely keep up with everything coming out of the other's mouth right now. all he got was panta, curry, and purple hair-dye.

...purple hair-dye may do the trick. that made him think of something in mind like a light-bulb flicking on.

he got out of his train of thought when he finally found the words to respond to the other.  
" okay, s-so...panta, ingredients for curry, and purple hair-dye for your hair, right? i got it. "

hearing that made ouma squeal, running over and throwing his arms around saihara again, letting a squeak escape from him before letting his own arms wrap around ouma. ouma was bouncing up and down again, this time from his own tippy-toes.

" thank yoooouuuuuu! " squealed ouma, with saihara hearing that squeal it nearly would've made his heart skip a beat from it.  
...wait, why's his heart weird now? huh.

" y...y-you're welcome, again. " saihara nervously replied, letting this hug last a bit longer. he wanted this to last for a long time. it was such a weird feeling he was having right now...it felt like his stomach had butterflies fluttering around inside.

such a weird craving...but he had to focus on school right now.

" okay, i-i have to go now...try to find something to do, alright? " saihara gently pulled away from the hug, looking down at ouma when the other nodded in reply.

" gotcha! stay safe then, dork, " ouma grinned mischivelously, reaching a hand out to saihara's forehead and flicking it with his fingers to result the blunette letting out a wince. saihara blinked before rolling his eyes, using his free hand to pull open the door while letting his other hand grip one of the backpack's straps.

" when have i ever gotten into trouble? " saihara teasingly asked - almost like a reply - before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. ouma waved before the door closed with the same grin, before it finally faded. a sigh escaped past his lips, turning around and gently pressing his back against the door's surface, slowly sliding down to the floor with knees up to his chest.

" you're in trouble now dumbass, " he muttered under his breath, slowly wrapping his arms around his knees again like before to pull them closer. he always did this whenever soemthing bad happened - shield himself away from the hits thrown towards him. or if he tried to shield away from the voices inside his head to scream out all the thoughts that had ran across his mind.

the plan was simple in his mind: run away from home - live with saihara~chan - and live a happy life.

it was simple. but with reality, it was more difficult then it seemed. police was involved now, he knew that they have to do something to get off them off their backs.

_saihara~chan is in danger. we're both in danger._

he thought, letting his chin rest a-top of his crossed fore-arms.

_if we both don't do something - we'll both be caught. i don't want that._

his nails dug into the fabric of his pants, as if it was a way to ease the tension he had surrounding him. ouma never liked it when situations got so bad. he ran away from them - like the coward everyone proclaimed he was. but he won't run away this time. this time, he knew he wouldn't run away from this.

_i'll protect myself, and saihara~chan. for our sake. for his sake and mine.  
_ _i'll protect our hope. this is the hope we choose to have, and i won't let anyone else take it away from us again._


End file.
